How to Make Guys Not Stare at Your Goodies and What To Do When They Do

I've always said that I want to be the girl that guys want to marry, not the girl they want to sleep with. Why? Because sleeping around sounds like a lot of work! But more importantly because I want men to desire my heart and not my body. (Also because Banana Republic and Ann Taylor send me coupons more often than Body Central or where ever you get "club clothes")

Men so often take the heat for not treating women with respect. The blame the get is most certainly justified and well deserved. But women are doing nothing to thwart the disrespect and unwanted attention. We need to respect ourselves before we can demand respect from men.

That girl dancing on the bar wearing no more than a dress (thats really a shirt) and less than appropriate undergarments probably doesn't have a very high self worth. Or the woman with fake boobs, bigger than regulation NBA basketballs, who comes to the pool in a neon thong bikini, probably, deep down, doesn't think very highly of herself.

When we dress this way, we attract douche bags. If you dress like you respect yourself, i'll bet you'll attract a decent guy. (Definition of a decent guy: doesn't wear Ed Hardy, doesn't drink out of a keg, funnel, test tube, etc.)

When we dress like street walkers, we are (in a sense) "asking for it". Don't ask me why men stare at you and women talk about you behind your back when you're wearing shorts with a 4 centimeter inseam and a tank top from Baby Gap. I'll tell you that you need to quit dressing/acting like a bimbo and that you should quit pretending to be stupid. If you're not pretending, then you should pick up a book or turn on the news (not the naked news).

Don't let your "daddy issues" be the reason you dress like a stripper. Dress like you have a Father, even if the only good one you have is your Heavenly one.

Women are to be sought after and desired!! How can we be that if we let it all hang out and show off all our goody snacks? Instead of PLAYING hard to get, why don't we BE hard to get?!?! Be a good woman! Be a woman worth pursuing. Teach men to respect you by respecting yourself.

You are so much more than just an object. Your body is beautiful. It needs no enhancements, reductions, lifts, tweaks, fixes, or whatever!

What Women Really Want: A Reponse to "What Men Really Want"

I am positive that good men exist. I know that God has an extraordinary plan for me and there is someone out there for me that will make me so so happy one day. I am also positive that God has a sense on humor based on my successful dating history (the last part of that statement is most definitely a joke). Boys are frustrating, so frustrating. You want to be in control all the time, but when its time to pick where we go for dinner, you're all about letting us choose. Its exhausting. But when I read things like "What Men Really Want" by Max Dubinsky I am reminded that I will more than likely NOT be a crazy spinster lady with 12 cats.

Men always say that women are such complicated creatures. And we are, we totally are. But even if we draw you a map and all of our cards are on the table, the question still remains. "What do women really want?" is one of the most googled phrases year after year. We can tell you exactly the type of man that we want. I could make a list of 20 characteristics that I wish for in a man, but those suck. And crap like that is going to get us anywhere. (Actually this blog probably won't "get us anywhere" either...)

At the end of the day all women want is a gentleman. Shocking stuff, huh? And there are so many aspects that involve being a gentleman. Society defines "gentleman" as someone who holds the door or the guy that doesn't try to feel on your hiney before date #3. And those are both great qualities!! But there is so so so much more to it.

Disclaimer: This is not geared towards any one in particular. Seriously, it's not. Please don't whine to someone that I'm blogging about you.

Being a gentleman mean that you are timely. This particular quality has many meanings.

Be on time. Don't make me late for something. I don't want to wait. I'll do the same. If I say I'll be ready in 30 minutes, I'll be ready... in 25 minutes.

Know how to manage your time. I expect anyone that I date or spend time with to allow me to hang out with my friends as I please and I definitely allow the same for him and his friends. I'm all about "bros before hoes" (although i'm not so fond of being called a hoe) and vice versa. But I also believe that if you want to get to know someone, you will make time to do so. When you like someone, you want to spend time with them. The people that I hang out with on the regular, I have have spent thousands of hours with. So when you have plans to go see a movie with your girlfriend, but your BFF calls and asks if you want to go steal street signs, say "no". First off, thats illegal. And secondly, I'll bet your BFF isn't going to hold your hand or want to be your girlfriend. If so, get some new friends, thats odd. Make time for people that you care about, regular friends and special friends alike.

But more importantly...

Know when the time is right for you to "start something". Don't pursue someone or something that you don't plan to continue. That being said, you don't need to marry everyone that you go on a date with. But if you aren't ready for or looking for a relationship, I find it very safe to say that you should just stay away from girls until you are. Don't spend countless hours with someone, text them from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed, bring them around your family, or say things like, but not limited to, "I like you so much". And when you finally decide to tell them that you aren't ready for something so serious or that the timing just isn't right, don't expect to be their favorite person or for them not to hate your stinking guts and be completely and utterly pissed with you. You are a douche bag if you do this.

Along with this sentiment, if you have something good, don't just let it go. Because when things seem to be going so well, then you pull the "timing" card... well I'm just gonna go ahead and call BS on that one.

*You would be surprised how many guys are horrible with timing, particularly when it comes to pursuing someone when they aren't ready for anything :). Make up your minds, boys!!!

*Again, this is not geared to any certain person in particular. Just my thoughts and feelings on what a gentleman is. Though it is based on past experience.

That being said, maybe its me?! Maybe I am a giant red flag to guys? I mean I don't ask to have our actual relationship status posted all over Facebook. I don't ask for you to take me out to dinner every night. I don't start looking at engagement rings until at least the 3rd date. And I don't start the wedding planning until a whole month of dating!! Come on!

A true gentleman knows how to pay a woman a compliment.

I don't expect you to notice my $110 Jessica Simpson pumps, but it is very nice to hear how beautiful you think I look when we go out.

Saying how nice a girls butt looks in those jeans does not count as a compliment. Or how you want to "tap that"... not very chivalrous.

**Obviously, you would only do this when you actually thought I looked pretty.

I don't need you to pay me endless compliments every 5 seconds, after all, that is why we have gay friends. And that is why I spend an hour in front of the mirror in the mornings... to tell myself everything that I love about me.

I dated a guy who turned out to be a complete tool (story of my life) and I have nothing else nice to say about him except for the fact that he always told me how beautiful he thought I was. No matter how little or how much make up I had on and no matter what I was wearing. Even looking like a scrub in my sweat pants.

Bonus Points: If you tell a girl you think she is beautiful in front of her parents.

A true gentleman is confident!

Confidence is such a multi faceted thing. There are so many ways a guy can show how confident he is.

*There is a huge difference between confidence and arrogance.

A man can be confident by dressing well. There is even a a song that says so! "Every girl's crazy about a sharp dressed man!" I won't get too much into this because this is a whole other blog.

No one is expecting their boyfriend to look to Balenciaga or Marc Jacobs Spring/Summer Menswear show to fashion inspiration, but next time we drag you to the mall pay attention to the window displays at J Crew. Or instead of hitting on me in the U Scan line at Harris Teeter, put down your 24 pack and pick up a GQ or MensHealth and flip through there for a minute.

Here is a list of DONTS:

-Black Socks- Even Lebron and Dirk wear white socks. But if you have to, never wear them outside of a basketball court.

-Cargo Shorts- You do not have enough cargo to justify that many pockets. A flat front, NO PLEATS, khaki will do just fine for your wallet, keys, and cell phone.

-White Tennis Shoes- Are you 70?

-Sperrys- If you are a sailor, have at it. If not, head to your nearest Johnston and Murphy and buy yourself a nice pair of loafers. THESE ARE NOT DRESS SHOES!!!?!?! How many times do I have to say it?

Below are links to how you should dress... I'm sure you'll watch them.

Versace Spring/Summer 2011 Menswear Show

Calvin Klein Spring/ Summer 2011 Menswear Show

A gentleman never puts himself down.

I'm not hanging out with you because I'm bored. There is obviously SOMETHING I like about you.

I don't care if you think your 6 pack could be more defined. You sound conceited when you say things like that. Though, I wouldn't complain if you did work on correcting that horrible flaw.

I know that Gods plan is so much bigger than me! There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that there are so many great guys out there! I know that someone will make me so so happy and there is someone out there who wants to be incredible for me! So guys, don't be douche bag. I'll tell everyone I know that you are.

Coupons! HT Triples Week!

Today began Harris Teeter's Triple Coupon Week running from 5/18-5/24. They will triple any coupon 99 cents or under until next Tuesday. Every crazy coupon woman who lives near an HT dreams about this week, myself included. I'm scared that soon I will be a crazy spinster cat lady.

I'm certainly no expert at this yet, but I got at least $50 worth of groceries today for under $10 with coupons. So basically, I'm amazing.

Since I already got everything that I wanted, I figured I'd share some of my best deals. And then maybe when we're 40 and still single, you can be my crazy cat lady roommate.

Harris Teeter:

Harris Teeter Coupon Policy

Tropicana Trop50- 50 cents off Lemonade, Raspberry Lemonade, or any other flavor (excluding Orange Juice)

I got the Raspberry Lemonade because it was $1.99, the others were $3.99.

$1.99 - $1.50 (50 cent coupon tripled)= 49 cents Final Price

You can get the coupon here. (It's on the 11th page for me)

Glade Carpet & Room Odor Eliminator- 50 cents off any 1

Original Price: $2.19 (on sale)

$2.19 - $1.50 (50 cent coupon tripled)= 60 cents Final Price

This coupon is no longer on here, but if you check back over the next few days it could re-appear.

Athenos Greek Yogurt- 75 cents off any 2 Athenos Greek Yogurts

At HT this week, they are on sale, 5 for $5. They are usually close to $2 each.

2 Yogurts for $2

$2 - $2.25 (75 cent coupon tripled)= FREE

- Technically I should have made 25 cents, but Harris Teeter doesn't do "overages".

I printed this coupon off 2 times, per allotment on Coupons.com.

BUT... I had another coupon that I got when I "liked" Athenos on Facebook. It was Buy One Get One Free (up to $1.89).

So... since they were on sale, I got 2 more for 50 cents.

ALL TOGETHER... I got 6 yogurts (usually $1.89) for 50 cents total.

Betty Crocker Cake Mix and Frosting- 75 cents off when you purchase any flavor of cake mix and frosting.

This coupon was an insert in the Sunday Paper.

Betty Crocker Cake Mix was on sale for $1.17 this week. And the frosting was $1.89.

$1.17 + $1.89= $3.06

$3.06 - $2.25 (75 cent coupon tripled)= 81 cents Final Price

I got lots of other great deals like Kraft Mac and Cheese for 24 cents and Gummy Bears for 39 cents, but the coupons I used were from past Sunday papers that I clipped then and saved.

I also got lots of great deals at Target this week using coupons from their website. But that will be another blog, because those deals will for sure blow your mind.

So laugh all you want, but when you're broke and hungry... don't ask me to share my gummy bears and cupcakes, because I'll most def say "no".

TSA

NOTE: I'm sure I sound like the most negative, rude, obnoxiously out spoken person ever. But really, I'm not. I try to find the positive in every thing, but the amount of stupidity in America and the world never ceases to amaze me.

Watch this before you read the blog, so it will all make sense.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmADZpqhKhQ

As I was watching the Today Show this morning, they were airing previews of a segment talking to Susie Castillo (Miss USA 2003) about her recent experience with the TSA at Dallas Fort Worth Airport.

After I watched the segment on the Today Show, I looked up videos on youtube of TSA agents giving people pat downs to see what the protocol/procedures are. On all the videos I watched, the TSA agent did it the same way every time.

After her pat down, she spoke with a manager from TSA, and the manager said that the agent followed proper protocol. Nothing out of the ordinary...

She opted out of the full body scan which means that you receive a pat down... that's just how it works. The video I posted above clearly shows her upset about the pat down and equates it with being sexually assaulted. What a slap in the face to anyone who has been sexually assaulted to compare sexual assault to a TSA agent running their hand up your leg for your safety and that reason only!!!

Oh. Come. On.

I personally have never received a pat down, but I kind of doubt it would be equivalent to being sexually assaulted. I have flown since they implemented the full body scanners in airports but they weren't at the airports/gates I went through. Like Susie Castillo, I would also opt out the full body scan because of the high level of radiation that they emit (I drank 6 diet cokes a day for 2 years, I can't take any chances), but never mind my own concerns. I would rather willingly make the decision to have a TSA agent pat me down. And if they have to cup my breast or stick a finger into the waistband of my pants to make sure I'm not smuggling drugs or weapons on an aircraft carrying 300 other people, yeah... I'm okay with that.

The purpose of me blogging about this is mainly to say that Susie Castillo is a big, fat whiner and it seems to me that she wants attention. My advice to her? Get over it! You're being overly sensitive, just like the TSA is being overly sensitive in order to protect your life and the lives of anyone else flying. What is your bringing light to the pat down you received going to do or solve? Your uncomfortable experience is not going to cause TSA or Homeland Security to think, "Ya know what? I think we'll do away with pat downs because she didn't like them. We really should just let people go on through. All people are totally trustworthy!" Quit your whining or drive to where you have to go.

Moral of the story/this blog: Anytime that something doesn't go your way or the way you planned doesn't mean that you should sue or make a huge fuss about it.

25 Before 25

If I had to choose 2 things to do for the rest of my life they would be to make lists and to talk about myself. The following includes both.

I've always wanted to make a bucket list, but considering I'm not even 20 yet, that idea may be somewhat "far-fetched". (Though the good Lord can take me out whenever He feels it necessary... and after this blog and how much I talk about myself, it may be that time) I like making goals. And I like achieving them. I feel a great sense of accomplishment as I cross completed tasks off a "to do list". So this is my 6 (or 5 1/2) year "to do list". I sat here for a bit tonight thinking of things I would like to accomplish by the time I turn 25. I think I chose easily accessible things for me to do. I think it's goofy when people make lists like this and then you see their blog 3 months later and nothing is crossed off. I would like to do complete this entire list before I'm 25, if not, no biggie. Though, I can almost guarantee that any task that has to do with buying something or some sort of shopping will be completed thoroughly, possibly even 2 or 3 times over.

1. Own a white pant suit. A la Jessica Simpson at the 2003 VMA's.

-Interesting Fact regarding this "task". When I watched the VMA red carpet that year I can remember seeing her in that suit being the first time I can recall ever showing some sort of interest in fashion and having a inspiration piece that I wanted to one day own. Though I will admit, the suit I will own will be much less revealing.

2. Revisit Washington, D.C.

3. Go to the "Unclaimed Baggage" Store in Scottsboro, Alabama.

4. Visit Maine during the late summer/early fall. ( And only during that time frame... any other time I think that it would be too cold)

5. Run some sort of organized race/marathon.

6. Learn to sew.

7. Make a (fabulous) cake using fondant like the "Cake Boss". And talk like him the entire time I am making it.

8. Meet Victoria Beckham. (Hopefully I will be looking completely fabulous when this happens)

9. Meet Tina Fey (again). I will explain to her in the least creepy way possible that I firmly believe I am her long lost sibling.

10. Read the entire Bible. Book after book consecutively.

11. Buy a pair of Louboutins. (not at full price, of course)

12. Attend the Superbowl (preferably a Steelers superbowl) with my daddy.

13. Attend one or all of the following tapings for: The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, or Saturday Night Live. (Though I would really love to star on an episode of SNL... or host... whichever comes first)

14. Spend New Years Eve in New York City.

15. Adopt an accent for an entire day.

16. Go camping. (Preferably somewhere that has running water... like the Ritz Carlton, kidding... or am I?)

17. Go see a movie at the theater alone.

18. Be completely blonde. No highlights. A full color! (This is, however, dependent on whether or not I can tan enough to pull the color off.)

19. Start eating breakfast regularly. A breakfast that doesn't consist of a Frito-Lay product or any sort of carbonation.

20. Do a fast.

21. Catch a fish. (Preferably with a net so that I don't have to put the bait on a hook, but I'm not totally opposed to the idea.)

22. Start wearing a watch.

23. Buy a new pair of eye glasses. This may not seem like such a feat, but I have had the same eye glasses since I was in 8th grade. That's 7 years. I'm hoping it won't take me another 7 to get a new pair.

24. Take an improv class.

25. Watch every film nominated for an Academy Award in the "Best Picture" category for the current year, each year.

So, there you (or I suppose- I) have it. Let's see if I can do it. Not too difficult. I think I'll do well. Considering #5 should be crossed off that list as of May 7th if all goes as planned.

"Over Spiritualizing"

I don't enjoy blogging because I don't feel like anyone really gives a rat's patootie about what I have to say or my view on things. But this topic, I found surprisingly easy to write on and very entertaining.

As a Christian, I think we often try to find spiritual meaning in any and every thing we do. 1 Corinthians says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." So I suppose when we do so, we are fulfilling our "duties" as a Christian to live out God's word. But sometimes taking out the trash is just taking out the trash. There is nothing supernatural or holy about it.

I'm not a "holy roller". I don't push my beliefs on everyone I meet. I don't judge people on their flaws or indecencies or mistakes. I'm very loving and forgiving by nature (almost perfect :)... kidding. I'm not the stereotypical version of someone who belongs to a Southern Baptist church. (Side-note: These are not my views on Southern Baptists. Just my observations on what a large portion of people think is normal of us.) I often find myself having to defend my religious affiliation because of the "reputation" that Baptists earned/earn by shouting the gospel at folks sitting in Friday afternoon traffic on Concord Mills Blvd. or by knocking on doors trying to get people in the doors of their church.

It often seems that some Christians put so much emphasis on adding spiritual value to everything they do that they completely lose sight of the reality of the world that they live in. They end up in their "Christian bubble". Listening to ONLY Christian radio, not watching television other than the 700 Club that comes on at the butt crack of dawn on ABC family, and sending their kids to school with only other Christian kids, because Heaven only knows how demon possessed they will turn out if they hear a curse word. These are the people that (for lack of better word) tick me off because they "over-spiritualize" things (though sometimes I do the same thing).

I often find myself praising the Lord when I correctly solve a prize puzzle on Wheel Of Fortune (not that there is anything wrong with that)... but COME ON! Or I am blaming Satan when things don't go my way.

I can remember one specific time when in that moment I thought it was a "God thing" but the more I thought back on it, I realized that is was more than likely just a coincidence. I was driving down the road, my phone plugged into the stereo, my Hillsong United Pandora Station going. (If you don't know what Pandora is... then google it. Then thank me for introducing you into the 21st century) As one song was ending, I thought, "it sure would be nice to hear 'Desert Song' by Hillsong right now." Then the next thing I knew that is exactly what came on! And I started crying because I though God heard what I had said. But about 45 seconds later I realized how ridiculous I was. So was it a coincidence or was it God? My vote is coincidence (but who knows!)

More often though, I find myself attributing every non-desirable result to Satan. I trivialize my faith. The world (regardless of what I would like to think) does not revolve around me. And the universe is not out to make our lives miserable. I kind of doubt Satan's to-do list looks like this:

1. Make sure the kids in Africa continue to starve.

2. Tornados! Earthquakes! Anything to destroy the Earth!

3. Make Lauren's favorite pants have a huge stain on them so that she has nothing to wear to church.

Am I right? Or am I right? That would be ridiculous of me to think.

I'm not sure if my reading "Love Wins" by Rob Bell has anything to do with my "everything is spiritual" mentality that I've had recently. But it sure does give you something to think about the next time something positive or negative happens to you. A coincidence or it is God?

PS- "Love Wins" is totally blowing my mind. I feel bad for everyone around me because all I've been saying is "Rob Bell this..." or "Rob Bell that..."! I've had to force myself to put it down! Very thought-provoking! Great read!

Mommy

I'll tell you what, if there were more mama's like mine, there would be a lot less crazies in this world. I'm by no means perfect or even normal, but she did something right. When I think of how I will raise my own children one day there are few things I'll do differently. With the exception of my sassy mouth and hatred of dirty dishes, I think I turned out pretty decent and I'd like to think my mom would agree.

She's incredibly merciful and gracious. There are many times she probably should have jacked me up and given me a nice beatin', but she was always waiting with loving and open arms for me to come running back when I realize what a ding dong I am.

We're certainly not a normal family. That is for sure. I can't think of too many people at almost 20 (ok, 19) years old that crawl into their parents bed every night to talk or watch our shows. Or that sit on their dads lap even when they don't want something.

When I was in the third grade, we read "Sarah, Plain and Tall", where the little girl, Anna's, mom dies (I can't remember why) one night and Anna didn't say "I love you" the night before she died. And since I read that, I never could go anywhere without saying "I love you" no matter how much we fought on the way to school or before I went to bed. I can remember in 9th grade, I didn't tell her I loved her when she dropped me off at school because I was mad about something and I had to ask my teacher if he would let me call her to tell her "I love you". Totally lame, I know. Last night I went into my parents room to say goodnight and my mom said, "Goodnight, sweetie. Love you." She always says "I love you" and "Goodnight", but the "sweetie" got me. I almost cried. I'm emotional all the time. I mean, I cry watching the kids and their mommy's on the merry-go-round in the food court at the mall, for goodness sakes.

Much like God's love for us, I wonder so often how such a flawed person, like myself, can be so adored. I'm an incredibly forgiving person, sometimes too much so, but I have a difficult time wrapping my head around the whole concept of forgiveness. So my prayer this week is for my heart to as open and gracious and merciful as the Lord.

I won't go on anymore about what a fantastic mom I have, but go tell yours how special she is and that you love her.