To My Future Husband

I'm taking a writing intensive course this semester and we're studying "letter-style" writing. Our assignment was to write a very informal letter of sorts to someone important from the past, present, or future (your "one day" kids, etc.). So I, being the hopeless romantic that I am (not!) wrote mine to my future husband. This assignment will double as my vows one day... 2 birds, 1 stone.

You are more handsome than I ever could have imagined. Your eyes are captivating and your smile makes me melt. I hope that just as much as I tell you how handsome you are, you hear from me that I am proud of the man that you are. Your ability to lead reminds me of Moses. Your humility and desire to serve others is what draws me to you. I know that you love me, but I can tell that you love God in ways that you could never love me.

Like me, you have made mistakes. The beauty in that is that the more we admit how flawed and broken we are, how undeserving we are, how we don't have it all together, the more we surrender to our Creator, the more His perfect and unfailing love can be revealed through our lives.

You are faithful and reliable, you are not contentious, you are a peacemaker- always the first to say, "I'm sorry". You are generous and always willing to help. You are a good man.

When I am with you I feel safe. Your voice is comforting. I am fulfilled and at peace when we are together. You always know exactly what to say. I hold your words close to my heart. You are wise and intelligent. When you speak I am reminded of Solomon's wisdom.

You are perfect for me. I will know I have found you when the little things that would regularly bother me don't even phase me. I won't have to secretly judge your table manners (but, please, pretty please, hold your fork and knife properly when cutting something... please!). The way you flip through the TV channels unable to watch any one show won't make me want to throw something at you. My "quirks" won't bother you either. You won't call me wasteful when I don't drink the last 2 sips of diet coke because you know that I think its not as good when it gets to the bottom. You won't yell at me for taking 3 baths a day sometimes during the winter because i'm cold. You know that I'm freezing if the thermostat is set to less than 82 and you know that you're not going to hear the end of it until you "bump it up".

Our home represents us well. A treasure trove of memories; pictures and book that materialize an adventured life. In our home we aren't too prideful to say "i'm sorry", we believe in grace and mercy, we seek Christ in difficult moments, and we always make sure that our faith is bigger than our fear.

I want to have children with you because I want my children to be raised by a Godly man- a man like you. But honestly, I don't care how many we have, if we even have any, or if we're able to do it on our own. Maybe we'll adopt. But however we do it, those babies will be loved on and we will be the absolute best parents we can be. And when I am big as blimp, umpteen months pregnant, you will be full of joy when making a 9pm Chick-Fil-A run because I'm craving a milkshake. (Heck, lets face it, you're gonna be doing that even when I'm not pregnant) In our over-worked, under-slept months as parents to a newborn, you'll get up at 3am every once in a while to change the screaming, spitting up, pooping little things that rules our lives.

I promise you that there will be times when you will want to duct tape my mouth shut because I've been doing Liz Lemon impressions for the past 12 hours. And I promise that you will want to lock me outside when the entire house reeks of nail polish remover because I can't decide if my toes look best painted blue, pink, or purple.

I promise that I will always stand by your side. I will trust your decisions, because your confidence in God's Word reminds me of Daniel.

I don't know where you are. Maybe on the mission field or in an office or still in college, maybe even reading this on your iphone (because you're an apple guy). More than likely- never having met you- I know you, you are already praying for me. Praying that God equips me to be the best wife for you. And I am praying for you. I pray that you sound and shine like Christ. I pray for our future marriage; that it is not just a happy marriage, but a holy one.

When I meet you, I'll know its you. My desire to be in a relationship with you will overcome my desire for singleness. And everything before that moment- every failed relationship, every heartache, every redirection, every triumph and victory, every loss and gain- will make perfect sense. I'll know that all of those things led me straight to you. I want my heart to beat for you and be filled for you. I want each moment we share to be a moment I could never live without.

I can't wait to spend rainy Saturdays in bed, watching movies and eating take out with you. But I can wait for you you- the "man of my dreams"- to be the man of my reality; I'm okay with this taking a while, as long as you're becoming the man and husband, and father that God calls you to be. Because I'm gonna do this whole marriage thing once and I'm gonna do it right. Until then...

Are you content in your "season of life?"

I think I speak for all young people when I say that there is almost nothing more frustrating than the opposite sex. And there is absolutely nothing more frustrating than other peoples opinion on your liking of the opposite sex. When I am single, guys frustrate me. When I am dating someone, guys frustrate me. There's no getting around it. So why do I find myself wanting to be in a relationship?

Don't know? Well I suppose I'll answer my own question.

Here's why:

Genesis 2:18, "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a suitable helper for him.'" So God made all the animals, birds, etc. (all the things I don't like) to be Adam's helper, but none of them were suitable. So God made woman from Adam's rib and Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man." God dug that idea and said, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

Translation: Adam is no good on his own. God creates Eve. Things are good.

According to God's Word, we are to find someone we like a lot, leave our parents house, get married, have some babies.

The End.

Just Kidding.

Side-note: To any 14 year old girls reading this... Just because the Bible says we should get married, doesn't mean that you should find some punk and and be his girlfriend. You are too young to date. Song of Solomon 2:7 says, "I adjure you, Oh daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." Meaning don't date until the time is right. That time is after you graduate high school.

But I digress.

Somehow, somewhere, it came about that if you're single, you're supposed to not want to get married; to be content in your singleness. That it is somehow more glorifying to go against how God wired you than to fulfill His plan for you (being married). What you get from that ideology is a bunch of liars; a bunch of young, single girls lying about being content. We're told that when we are content, God will send us a man. So we run around going, "Okay, God, I'm content. I love being single!! Now where is he? Send me a man!"

And our young, single guys interpret "being content" as "I'm just gonna wait for God to put the right one in my path."

So girls are waiting for God to send him and guys are waiting for God to send her. Meaning no one is doing anything to find the other.

But in what other area of our life do we just wait around for something; for God to send it? Nowhere!! Guys don't wait for dinner... they tell a woman to make it for them. But theres not going to be a woman if they just sit on their lazy butts.

And I don't wait for my nails to paint themselves!

That being said, you CAN be content in your season of life- being single- but still want to be in a relationship. I enjoy being single, but I don't want to be single forever. I want God to finish what he started... I'm single but I want to be married eventually.

*I am not implying that I want to get married ASAP. I'm not the girl to get married at 21. But 3, 4, 5 years from now, I'd like to see some progress.

I write all this to say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be married. There is nothing evil in wanting to find a husband or be in a relationship. So next time someone tells you to be content in your singleness, tell them to shut up... just kidding.

Getting Naked, Sex, and Why You Should Keep Your Clothes On

As a young Christian woman, I've noticed that teaching on the topic of sex is almost always approached one of two ways. The first being not teaching on it at all. The second being the use of scare tactics or what I like to call the "Mean Girls" approach. (You know? "You WILL get pregnant and die..."???) Neither of the above mentioned seem to be effective.

We are given the "no's" without the "yes's". The rules without the explanation.

Telling a 3 year old not to touch the hot eye on a stove is going to make the kid want to touch the stove. Telling a 15 year old to not have sex is going to make her want to have sex. More than likely, not because she is burning with passion, but because she is curious. Like the 3 year old, the 15 year old is going to get "burned" by her curiosity.

Being the profound and wise (almost) 20 year old that I am (sarcasm), I have taken it upon myself to elaborate on why saving yourself for marriage really is what is best for you. And more importantly, it is what God wants for us. You can thank me later... :).

We are called not only to virginity, but also to purity. Not having sex isn't just about avoiding intercourse. Plenty of people are getting physical with someone, touching each other, and doing things to one another that aren't actually sexual intercourse, but sure are sexual. They're getting together in intimate ways and trying to pretend theres no intimacy or connection.

God wants you to wait. He wants you to wait because He cares about you. He wants you to say "no" to something that He knows you want now because He knows that sex now- this way, this time, with this guy- holds short lived fulfillment and satisfaction. He knows that sex within marriage- a lifelong commitment- is so much better and so much more pleasurable. He wants you to wait for that kind of sex; he wants you to experience that. He wants you to know that sex outside of marriage is bad, but sex within marriage, the way God intended it, can be amazingly fun-filled and purpose-filled hot crazy sex.

Sex outside of marriage is, more often that not, awkward and nerve wracking. Your head is probably filled with self-concious thoughts and wondering if you'll get pregnant or an STD. But when it comes to sex within the walls of marriage, there doesn't have to be those kind of thoughts. If you married a good, Godly man, you are his standard of beauty. You married a man who should treat you the way that makes your friends jealous. You married a man who sees your body as his wonderland, and those 5 extra lbs. that you are self conscious about, he sees those as more acreage to roll around on :). In Song of Solomon 4:7, it says that Solomon tells his new bride, "All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." Can you imagine someone telling you that? Someone who saved himself for you and you for him? That's enough to melt my heart!

Its easy to get naked and have sex. People do it all the time!!! But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit and thoughts and dreams and hopes and fears... that is being naked. That is letting go of all inhibitions and truly being with someone. That is what and how God intended sex to be.

Sex before marriage ruins relationships and prolongs bad ones. Don't let sex ruin you. Be a young woman or man of dignity and honor. Don't give up the amazing sex you can have with your future spouse for sex with some tool bag that you met at BAR.

God invented it, culture corrupted it, it is ours to reclaim!!!

Camp Paradise 2011

This is way way way overdue. But I've been too busy taking showers and eating real food since I got back from camp to blog. (My schedule is very demanding... obviously)

Camp Paradise. What a week! I ate more canned fruit in 5 days than I cared to eat in an entire lifetime. I slept (or didn't sleep) on a crib mattress that they called a bed. I brushed my teeth with water from a water cooler and shaved my legs on the porch with exfoliating face scrub. I made a clutch out of duct tape! But I wouldn't have rathered be doing anything else those 5 days! More importantly than the 5000 ant bites that I came home with, I also brought back a heart totally sold-out and on fire for the Lord!

400 students, 100-something adult volunteers, and 1 awesome God showed up for an amazing week of camp in the middle of nowhere South Carolina!

I can't say enough good things about my church! I am so blessed to go to a church where the young people are loved on and prayed for like they are at Hickory Grove! God obviously heard our prayers for camp, because His presence was so apparent!!!

We spent the majority of our "family group" time in the book of Jonah. We talked about how God calls us to "ARISE" and be a leader and example of Christ to others. I definitely think that our students went home ready to share what they learned with their family and friends!

I am thankful for new friends! It is so much easier to walk in the Lord when you have Christian friends to hold you accountable and who are there to pray for you when you need it. I miss the "Dream Team"! I haven't broke out in spontaneous dance to "Party Rock" since we left! People who say Christians don't have fun, obviously haven't been to Camp Paradise.

There were so many celebrity appearances! Like Coach Snyder, Grizzly Barbasol, and the most famous of all... (wait for it) Gerald Malloy!!! Gerald and the band absolutely brought it!!! The music was on point. At the beginning of the week, very few of the kids would put their hands up during worship and by the end of the week, we had an entire room of raised hands, 200 middle school aged kids surrendering themselves to God!

I can't wait to be back! But until then, my prayer is that we are fearless in sharing our faith with others and that we are a Godly example to such a lost world! There is nothing to lose!

Until next summer :)...

PS- When they say not to eat the sausage... LISTEN! Its just as bad coming up as it was going down.

How to Make Guys Not Stare at Your Goodies and What To Do When They Do

I've always said that I want to be the girl that guys want to marry, not the girl they want to sleep with. Why? Because sleeping around sounds like a lot of work! But more importantly because I want men to desire my heart and not my body. (Also because Banana Republic and Ann Taylor send me coupons more often than Body Central or where ever you get "club clothes")

Men so often take the heat for not treating women with respect. The blame the get is most certainly justified and well deserved. But women are doing nothing to thwart the disrespect and unwanted attention. We need to respect ourselves before we can demand respect from men.

That girl dancing on the bar wearing no more than a dress (thats really a shirt) and less than appropriate undergarments probably doesn't have a very high self worth. Or the woman with fake boobs, bigger than regulation NBA basketballs, who comes to the pool in a neon thong bikini, probably, deep down, doesn't think very highly of herself.

When we dress this way, we attract douche bags. If you dress like you respect yourself, i'll bet you'll attract a decent guy. (Definition of a decent guy: doesn't wear Ed Hardy, doesn't drink out of a keg, funnel, test tube, etc.)

When we dress like street walkers, we are (in a sense) "asking for it". Don't ask me why men stare at you and women talk about you behind your back when you're wearing shorts with a 4 centimeter inseam and a tank top from Baby Gap. I'll tell you that you need to quit dressing/acting like a bimbo and that you should quit pretending to be stupid. If you're not pretending, then you should pick up a book or turn on the news (not the naked news).

Don't let your "daddy issues" be the reason you dress like a stripper. Dress like you have a Father, even if the only good one you have is your Heavenly one.

Women are to be sought after and desired!! How can we be that if we let it all hang out and show off all our goody snacks? Instead of PLAYING hard to get, why don't we BE hard to get?!?! Be a good woman! Be a woman worth pursuing. Teach men to respect you by respecting yourself.

You are so much more than just an object. Your body is beautiful. It needs no enhancements, reductions, lifts, tweaks, fixes, or whatever!

What Women Really Want: A Reponse to "What Men Really Want"

I am positive that good men exist. I know that God has an extraordinary plan for me and there is someone out there for me that will make me so so happy one day. I am also positive that God has a sense on humor based on my successful dating history (the last part of that statement is most definitely a joke). Boys are frustrating, so frustrating. You want to be in control all the time, but when its time to pick where we go for dinner, you're all about letting us choose. Its exhausting. But when I read things like "What Men Really Want" by Max Dubinsky I am reminded that I will more than likely NOT be a crazy spinster lady with 12 cats.

Men always say that women are such complicated creatures. And we are, we totally are. But even if we draw you a map and all of our cards are on the table, the question still remains. "What do women really want?" is one of the most googled phrases year after year. We can tell you exactly the type of man that we want. I could make a list of 20 characteristics that I wish for in a man, but those suck. And crap like that is going to get us anywhere. (Actually this blog probably won't "get us anywhere" either...)

At the end of the day all women want is a gentleman. Shocking stuff, huh? And there are so many aspects that involve being a gentleman. Society defines "gentleman" as someone who holds the door or the guy that doesn't try to feel on your hiney before date #3. And those are both great qualities!! But there is so so so much more to it.

Disclaimer: This is not geared towards any one in particular. Seriously, it's not. Please don't whine to someone that I'm blogging about you.

Being a gentleman mean that you are timely. This particular quality has many meanings.

Be on time. Don't make me late for something. I don't want to wait. I'll do the same. If I say I'll be ready in 30 minutes, I'll be ready... in 25 minutes.

Know how to manage your time. I expect anyone that I date or spend time with to allow me to hang out with my friends as I please and I definitely allow the same for him and his friends. I'm all about "bros before hoes" (although i'm not so fond of being called a hoe) and vice versa. But I also believe that if you want to get to know someone, you will make time to do so. When you like someone, you want to spend time with them. The people that I hang out with on the regular, I have have spent thousands of hours with. So when you have plans to go see a movie with your girlfriend, but your BFF calls and asks if you want to go steal street signs, say "no". First off, thats illegal. And secondly, I'll bet your BFF isn't going to hold your hand or want to be your girlfriend. If so, get some new friends, thats odd. Make time for people that you care about, regular friends and special friends alike.

But more importantly...

Know when the time is right for you to "start something". Don't pursue someone or something that you don't plan to continue. That being said, you don't need to marry everyone that you go on a date with. But if you aren't ready for or looking for a relationship, I find it very safe to say that you should just stay away from girls until you are. Don't spend countless hours with someone, text them from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed, bring them around your family, or say things like, but not limited to, "I like you so much". And when you finally decide to tell them that you aren't ready for something so serious or that the timing just isn't right, don't expect to be their favorite person or for them not to hate your stinking guts and be completely and utterly pissed with you. You are a douche bag if you do this.

Along with this sentiment, if you have something good, don't just let it go. Because when things seem to be going so well, then you pull the "timing" card... well I'm just gonna go ahead and call BS on that one.

*You would be surprised how many guys are horrible with timing, particularly when it comes to pursuing someone when they aren't ready for anything :). Make up your minds, boys!!!

*Again, this is not geared to any certain person in particular. Just my thoughts and feelings on what a gentleman is. Though it is based on past experience.

That being said, maybe its me?! Maybe I am a giant red flag to guys? I mean I don't ask to have our actual relationship status posted all over Facebook. I don't ask for you to take me out to dinner every night. I don't start looking at engagement rings until at least the 3rd date. And I don't start the wedding planning until a whole month of dating!! Come on!

A true gentleman knows how to pay a woman a compliment.

I don't expect you to notice my $110 Jessica Simpson pumps, but it is very nice to hear how beautiful you think I look when we go out.

Saying how nice a girls butt looks in those jeans does not count as a compliment. Or how you want to "tap that"... not very chivalrous.

**Obviously, you would only do this when you actually thought I looked pretty.

I don't need you to pay me endless compliments every 5 seconds, after all, that is why we have gay friends. And that is why I spend an hour in front of the mirror in the mornings... to tell myself everything that I love about me.

I dated a guy who turned out to be a complete tool (story of my life) and I have nothing else nice to say about him except for the fact that he always told me how beautiful he thought I was. No matter how little or how much make up I had on and no matter what I was wearing. Even looking like a scrub in my sweat pants.

Bonus Points: If you tell a girl you think she is beautiful in front of her parents.

A true gentleman is confident!

Confidence is such a multi faceted thing. There are so many ways a guy can show how confident he is.

*There is a huge difference between confidence and arrogance.

A man can be confident by dressing well. There is even a a song that says so! "Every girl's crazy about a sharp dressed man!" I won't get too much into this because this is a whole other blog.

No one is expecting their boyfriend to look to Balenciaga or Marc Jacobs Spring/Summer Menswear show to fashion inspiration, but next time we drag you to the mall pay attention to the window displays at J Crew. Or instead of hitting on me in the U Scan line at Harris Teeter, put down your 24 pack and pick up a GQ or MensHealth and flip through there for a minute.

Here is a list of DONTS:

-Black Socks- Even Lebron and Dirk wear white socks. But if you have to, never wear them outside of a basketball court.

-Cargo Shorts- You do not have enough cargo to justify that many pockets. A flat front, NO PLEATS, khaki will do just fine for your wallet, keys, and cell phone.

-White Tennis Shoes- Are you 70?

-Sperrys- If you are a sailor, have at it. If not, head to your nearest Johnston and Murphy and buy yourself a nice pair of loafers. THESE ARE NOT DRESS SHOES!!!?!?! How many times do I have to say it?

Below are links to how you should dress... I'm sure you'll watch them.

Versace Spring/Summer 2011 Menswear Show

Calvin Klein Spring/ Summer 2011 Menswear Show

A gentleman never puts himself down.

I'm not hanging out with you because I'm bored. There is obviously SOMETHING I like about you.

I don't care if you think your 6 pack could be more defined. You sound conceited when you say things like that. Though, I wouldn't complain if you did work on correcting that horrible flaw.

I know that Gods plan is so much bigger than me! There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that there are so many great guys out there! I know that someone will make me so so happy and there is someone out there who wants to be incredible for me! So guys, don't be douche bag. I'll tell everyone I know that you are.

Coupons! HT Triples Week!

Today began Harris Teeter's Triple Coupon Week running from 5/18-5/24. They will triple any coupon 99 cents or under until next Tuesday. Every crazy coupon woman who lives near an HT dreams about this week, myself included. I'm scared that soon I will be a crazy spinster cat lady.

I'm certainly no expert at this yet, but I got at least $50 worth of groceries today for under $10 with coupons. So basically, I'm amazing.

Since I already got everything that I wanted, I figured I'd share some of my best deals. And then maybe when we're 40 and still single, you can be my crazy cat lady roommate.

Harris Teeter:

Harris Teeter Coupon Policy

Tropicana Trop50- 50 cents off Lemonade, Raspberry Lemonade, or any other flavor (excluding Orange Juice)

I got the Raspberry Lemonade because it was $1.99, the others were $3.99.

$1.99 - $1.50 (50 cent coupon tripled)= 49 cents Final Price

You can get the coupon here. (It's on the 11th page for me)

Glade Carpet & Room Odor Eliminator- 50 cents off any 1

Original Price: $2.19 (on sale)

$2.19 - $1.50 (50 cent coupon tripled)= 60 cents Final Price

This coupon is no longer on here, but if you check back over the next few days it could re-appear.

Athenos Greek Yogurt- 75 cents off any 2 Athenos Greek Yogurts

At HT this week, they are on sale, 5 for $5. They are usually close to $2 each.

2 Yogurts for $2

$2 - $2.25 (75 cent coupon tripled)= FREE

- Technically I should have made 25 cents, but Harris Teeter doesn't do "overages".

I printed this coupon off 2 times, per allotment on Coupons.com.

BUT... I had another coupon that I got when I "liked" Athenos on Facebook. It was Buy One Get One Free (up to $1.89).

So... since they were on sale, I got 2 more for 50 cents.

ALL TOGETHER... I got 6 yogurts (usually $1.89) for 50 cents total.

Betty Crocker Cake Mix and Frosting- 75 cents off when you purchase any flavor of cake mix and frosting.

This coupon was an insert in the Sunday Paper.

Betty Crocker Cake Mix was on sale for $1.17 this week. And the frosting was $1.89.

$1.17 + $1.89= $3.06

$3.06 - $2.25 (75 cent coupon tripled)= 81 cents Final Price

I got lots of other great deals like Kraft Mac and Cheese for 24 cents and Gummy Bears for 39 cents, but the coupons I used were from past Sunday papers that I clipped then and saved.

I also got lots of great deals at Target this week using coupons from their website. But that will be another blog, because those deals will for sure blow your mind.

So laugh all you want, but when you're broke and hungry... don't ask me to share my gummy bears and cupcakes, because I'll most def say "no".