Friday, September 23, 2011

To My Future Husband

I'm taking a writing intensive course this semester and we're studying "letter-style" writing. Our assignment was to write a very informal letter of sorts to someone important from the past, present, or future (your "one day" kids, etc.). So I, being the hopeless romantic that I am (not!) wrote mine to my future husband. This assignment will double as my vows one day... 2 birds, 1 stone.

You are more handsome than I ever could have imagined. Your eyes are captivating and your smile makes me melt. I hope that just as much as I tell you how handsome you are, you hear from me that I am proud of the man that you are. Your ability to lead reminds me of Moses. Your humility and desire to serve others is what draws me to you. I know that you love me, but I can tell that you love God in ways that you could never love me.

Like me, you have made mistakes. The beauty in that is that the more we admit how flawed and broken we are, how undeserving we are, how we don't have it all together, the more we surrender to our Creator, the more His perfect and unfailing love can be revealed through our lives.

You are faithful and reliable, you are not contentious, you are a peacemaker- always the first to say, "I'm sorry". You are generous and always willing to help. You are a good man.

When I am with you I feel safe. Your voice is comforting. I am fulfilled and at peace when we are together. You always know exactly what to say. I hold your words close to my heart. You are wise and intelligent. When you speak I am reminded of Solomon's wisdom.

You are perfect for me. I will know I have found you when the little things that would regularly bother me don't even phase me. I won't have to secretly judge your table manners (but, please, pretty please, hold your fork and knife properly when cutting something... please!). The way you flip through the TV channels unable to watch any one show won't make me want to throw something at you. My "quirks" won't bother you either. You won't call me wasteful when I don't drink the last 2 sips of diet coke because you know that I think its not as good when it gets to the bottom. You won't yell at me for taking 3 baths a day sometimes during the winter because i'm cold. You know that I'm freezing if the thermostat is set to less than 82 and you know that you're not going to hear the end of it until you "bump it up".

Our home represents us well. A treasure trove of memories; pictures and book that materialize an adventured life. In our home we aren't too prideful to say "i'm sorry", we believe in grace and mercy, we seek Christ in difficult moments, and we always make sure that our faith is bigger than our fear.

I want to have children with you because I want my children to be raised by a Godly man- a man like you. But honestly, I don't care how many we have, if we even have any, or if we're able to do it on our own. Maybe we'll adopt. But however we do it, those babies will be loved on and we will be the absolute best parents we can be. And when I am big as blimp, umpteen months pregnant, you will be full of joy when making a 9pm Chick-Fil-A run because I'm craving a milkshake. (Heck, lets face it, you're gonna be doing that even when I'm not pregnant) In our over-worked, under-slept months as parents to a newborn, you'll get up at 3am every once in a while to change the screaming, spitting up, pooping little things that rules our lives.

I promise you that there will be times when you will want to duct tape my mouth shut because I've been doing Liz Lemon impressions for the past 12 hours. And I promise that you will want to lock me outside when the entire house reeks of nail polish remover because I can't decide if my toes look best painted blue, pink, or purple.

I promise that I will always stand by your side. I will trust your decisions, because your confidence in God's Word reminds me of Daniel.

I don't know where you are. Maybe on the mission field or in an office or still in college, maybe even reading this on your iphone (because you're an apple guy). More than likely- never having met you- I know you, you are already praying for me. Praying that God equips me to be the best wife for you. And I am praying for you. I pray that you sound and shine like Christ. I pray for our future marriage; that it is not just a happy marriage, but a holy one.

When I meet you, I'll know its you. My desire to be in a relationship with you will overcome my desire for singleness. And everything before that moment- every failed relationship, every heartache, every redirection, every triumph and victory, every loss and gain- will make perfect sense. I'll know that all of those things led me straight to you. I want my heart to beat for you and be filled for you. I want each moment we share to be a moment I could never live without.

I can't wait to spend rainy Saturdays in bed, watching movies and eating take out with you. But I can wait for you you- the "man of my dreams"- to be the man of my reality; I'm okay with this taking a while, as long as you're becoming the man and husband, and father that God calls you to be. Because I'm gonna do this whole marriage thing once and I'm gonna do it right. Until then...